I’ve never succumbed to Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, or whatever the newest form of social media is out there. I do though, believe that the internet has taken over my life in other ways. I have a sort of multiple personality when it comes to email accounts, that won’t let go of me, or at least the accounts are hard to let go of.
I have three family emails. One that we started out with. It was free. We use that for personal communication with friends. Then the one that we got when we signed up with our telephone company. We use this to give to businesses and keep contact with our church and school. Then one we received when we signed up for our TV. Pretty much we don’t use that one. Hope I don’t have to use it. I have forgotten the password.
I have four personal emails. One is for my work. One is connected to my computer. Don’t know why. My son said I had to have a specific type to link my computer to the internet. One is for my writing projects and one is for my blog.
I have two Face Book accounts and one Word Press Blog.
I have all these and no time to use them. Why can’t I let go? Why can’t I just have one? I do know that when I feel a certain way, I gravitate toward one over the other. Say I want to go to a friend, I go to my family friend account. If I feel like writing, I go to my Word Press or the email connected to it. If I want to connect to my writing self I use yet another. I wonder why I can’t use one for everything?
Maybe I need to give myself permission to jump into another world for awhile. A world where only certain people know me. I know that one of my problems is wanting to be liked by everyone. So if I express myself in certain ways, I need to make sure I don’t make one group of my people mad. So I go to the ones who will listen and accept. Then when I need a different sort of connection I will go to those others who would be bored by my other self.
Sounds sad as I watch myself type these words. I can hear you telling me to just be me and not be worried about who I am to others. The most important thing is that you are true to you. I hear you, but easier said than done. So I continue to split myself and wonder why I am tired.