Last night I attended my abuse support group, as I do each Wednesday. The topic, “Being Afraid to Give It All Over To God.” Many women were somber, sharing their deepest fears. My fear is the greatest of them all, fear of rejection. I just want to be loved. My Dad left when I was young, so I guess I’ve been ever since chasing that missing love. We listed ways to let go of our fears. I thought it so powerful that I’d share our ideas with you. These are made up from real, scared, hurting people, not some high and mighty psychologist…
Letting Go Of Fear
1. Let yourself cry. This releases tension that you hold inside, thus making you stronger. What is salt good for? Healing, making things better and preserving. Let the salt water flow from your eyes. Plus, the Bible says that each of our tears are accounted for and kept in a bottle by a loving God. (Psalms 56:8)
2. Speak up! Fear tries to shut us up and then we shut down and give up. Take Christopher Robin’s (Winnie the Pooh) statement to heart. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” God says that He didn’t give us a spirit of fear, (2 Timothy 1:7) but of love, and power and a sound mind.
3. Expect the Lord to do something, and soon. Tell him so! Put your arms up in the air and say, “What’cha going to do about it?” Don’t worry about it, cause this ain’t your problem. Watch and see what the Lord does. Anytime you are worried, say, “Not mine Lord. Can’t do it. You deal with it.” Look up the meaning of the word Qavah. It is my newest favorite word. Hebrew for, Lord I am waiting for you to do something, cause I know you are going to act on my part soon.
4. Don’t play the Yeahbut Game. You know the one…I could do that, Yeahbut what if this happened, or that? Fear of the unknown can be great if you focus on it. Instead, focus on the now and try to look at things differently. Put encouraging statements all over your house and read them constantly. Philippians 4: 8 says that we should think upon the pure, true and honest stuff. Don’t spend time worrying about the could be-s.
5. Dismiss them. A wonderful kids book I just read to my little ones, Go away Big Green Monster, by Ed Emberley, shows that we can dismiss our fears just by telling them to go away…”and don’t come back until I say so.” James 4:7 tells us to, “resist the devil and he will flee from us.” Go ahead and boss them around.
6. Search the Bible for the word fear. Change each word fear to the word anxiety and place your name in each text. Example: The LORD is with you Meghan; So let go of your anxieties. What can man do to you? (Psalms 118: 6) Affirm yourself each day that God is on your side.
7. Make a list of what you are going to do each hour of the day. What room will you be in, what would you like to accomplish. Having structure helps us live through the fear because we have purpose.
8. Silence can be deafening. If you are thinking fearfully because you are alone and have too much quietness around you, then distract yourself with Christian music, or television. Take your mind off your worries for a bit and get rest.
9. Practice the skills of Mindfulness- really stare at something. Is it smooth, or bumpy? How does it feel, taste, smell? Live in the moment. We aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, and yesterday is in the past. Today is the only gift we have. Pay attention to it and be grateful.
10. Breathe deeply. Breath backwards, starting with breathing out, then in. Count your breaths. Do progressive relaxation. Tighten your muscles and then loosen them. Relax. This too will pass. You can get through it.
Couple other ideas: read, exercise, go for a walk, talk to a friend, blog, write, use a stressball, play with pipe cleaners, do your nails, color, draw, play with worry beads or Rosary beads, take a bubble bath and of course Pray Without Ceasing.
I have added March’s activities, steps and devotional to the sidebar of my page. Just in case you don’t get there I put the paragraph about this month’s step 3. (We have a new step each month, so third month-step 3.) Enjoy!
Many women involved in emotionally abusive relationships feel uncomfortable doing step three. Our whole lives have taught us that we can trust no one. Step three asks us to choose to place our trust in God. No one is forcing us. He simply asks for us to choose to follow Him whole heartedly. This means not only the big problems will be turned over for his care, but even the small frustrations that we face, (a broken appliance, lost keys a long line in traffic when you are late for an appointment) are to be give over to Him to deal with. In the face of these irritations we will constantly tell ourselves to “turn it over, turn it over.” The saying “let go and let God” will be your sole purpose in life.
Ironically figuring out our needs in life and asking God to take over in how those needs are met is one of the most unselfish things we can do. We realize that there is nothing more important than God’s will for our lives. We are willing to allow our Creator to direct His creation. The more we let go and trust in God the freer we will become in our relationships. We will smile more, because we have the assurance that the problem is not ours to worry about. We just keep rolling the problems over to God.
What then does He require from us in return? Only to get up one more time than we fall. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be the best we can be. By trusting in God and holding His hand, He assuredly shows us the true way to happiness, where we can shine for Him.