Disapproval- Crying Over My Troubles

disapproval

I saw this look numerous times this weekend. Now luckily, I have the day off to nurse my emotional wounds. Today is Veteran’s Day…I am a Veteran of Psychological Warfare.

The argument started Saturday morning. Charlie TOLD me that he was going over to a friend’s house that evening (I’ve never met him). Saturday is usually a family day and always ends up with a night of popcorn and movies, cuddled up on the couch. So, I felt a bit sad, but really it was fine. Used to disappointments.

I mentioned to him that I felt unwanted in this friendship of his (he goes over and talks with the wife too, and the two cute kids love him, or so I’ve heard) and that I wished that he’d ask me to accompany him sometime to meet them. (Both my boys have gone over there and his mom and dad have had him over to their house too). He gave me the look above.

Charlie: “I didn’t know that you wanted to meet them. I know that he is not your type of person, so I didn’t think that you wanted to go. You never said anything.”

Meghan: “If he is your friend, he is important to me, because he is important to you. I am saying something to you now.”

Charlie: “I can never please you.”

Meghan: “I just feel hurt, that’s all.”

Charlie: “Well, those are your feelings. They are not reality, so they are your problem.”

We went to church. After church we went to a potluck meal. Charlie didn’t wait for me, but got in line with a girl that betrayed my trust to him a couple years ago, and he’s been buddy buddy ever since. Then he sat down with her and started eating. I walked in with my food and didn’t know where to go or what to do. I didn’t want to sit with her. I don’t like her anymore after her running to him and telling him the secrets I shared with her. So I did what I could only do, sit with them and smile.

Then we went over to the friend’s house and I got to meet the cute kids and the family.

Next day

Charlie: “You are such a ball and chain. I feel like a caged animal. You let me out on your leash when ever it seems fit. I am tired of your feelings always trumping my wants.”

Meghan: “You are being mean to me. How can you say that I am that way. You make your own choices.”

Rolls eyes

Meghan: “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

Charlie: “See you are never happy.”

Meghan: “Please say something nice and let me know that you care. When you roll your eyes at me it shows me that you don’t care how I feel.”

Charlie: “There we go with those feelings again. I am just going to do what I want to do…and you are not included. And you will have to just deal with it.”

Silent treatment…he kicked his son out of his bed and slept there instead.

Eyes puffy. Feeling emotionally beaten. Exhausted.

Meghan

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Disapproval- Crying Over My Troubles

      • If you’re like me you’ve probably read everything you can get your hands on about this. Have you read Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie?

      • Ha, do you know me or what. Yes, I have read and read. Reading informs me, and also gives me an escape from reality. Yes, I have read that book. Good one. I also like:
        How to Act Right When your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick
        The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
        Alone in Marriage by Susan Larson
        But He’ll Change by Joanna Hunter
        So I should know how to be strong huh?
        We all fall sometimes…

      • It doesn’t matter how many books you read or how strong you are. You are still human and you got married to have a partner in life. All the strength in the world doesn’t change that.

        Like I said, *hugs*.

  1. Oh Meghan! I feel like crying. I was there where you are right now. I know exactly how you feel. I don’t have the right word to say because every story is different. One day I realized than NOTHING could be worse than sharing my life with my ex and started planning my escape. I rather lived under a bridge with my 5 kids and ate bread and onions that stay one more second with the man who was supposed to love me more that anything but instead, despised me.
    Hugs to you. You are not alone ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s