I had this story up on my blog when a few women protested that they didn’t want their stories up for all to see. I immediately took them down. Bethany came to me and told me that I could put her story out there. Hopefully it helps someone. If you have a story, or knows someone who does and would like to have it told, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Let Finding Hope’s Ministry help you tell your story. You have a voice! Meghan
Why didn’t someone tell me then (or did they) what I know now? Would I have listened? Would I have understood the importance of it? Could I have felt the intense pain then that one can feel when you go through it? Why did God make us to desire and long to be needed and loved? I missed all that special blessing that I could have had if I had done it God’s way instead of doing it my way.
Many of my friends got married right out of high school. I wasn’t even dating. College came and went. Finally with blind eyes and getting someone addicted sexually the wedding bells did ring. I wanted to be the perfect wife. Life seemed to be great. The only thing I felt was that he was not interested in knowing who I really was. He didn’t have time to listen to me.
Everything was his way. I, the dutiful wife went along with what he said, never to rock the boat! We never had a fight. I always did as he wanted.
Then 12 ½ years and 3 ¾ kids later, he left! Yes, I was pregnant with baby # 4. Lip stick on his collar told the tail on him. He was off with one of his many girl friends that happened over the next 21 years. At first I waited and longed for him to come home. Then later I tried to do the divorce many times over the years. Each time he would get angry with me that it was not a good time for his business financially. Oh the threats would come, not in so many words, but in inferred statements. Would he really burn the house down, or hurt the kids, or take them from me? Or could he kill me in his fit of rage as when he would scream at me. Not only was I afraid of him, I was also afraid of me not being able to make it on my own.
My advice would be to anyone going through what I went through would be to lean on God totally. He will get you through whatever you have to go through. Once you know that there is no reconciliation get the divorce over with. Don’t wait 21 years like I did. Get the protection you need to get through it. Get an emotional support system. Remember you are special and God loves you!