Remember the days where all you had to do was get up at the crack of dawn and go jump on your parent’s bed to wake them up. Christmas used to be so simple as a child. The sparkle of the Christmas lights, snitching a cookie, marvelous smells coming from the kitchen and of course the presents. All we had to do was rip them open and throw the paper on the floor. There was no clean up, only play time. The meal wasn’t our responsibility. The family didn’t need to be entertained. Pure joy! Why can’t I have that back?
I have been surfing the web looking for encouragement to hold myself together for the holidays. Everything I read says prepare early, cook early, reduce your work load and try to relax. None of this works for me. I’ve been too busy to prepare early, got to work right up until Christmas so cooking early doesn’t work either. Reducing my work load is impossible. I’ve been trying this every day of my life. What makes Christmas time any easier? So trying to relax is confusing to me. How do I try to relax. Either I do or I don’t. How do I relax when the whole responsibility of Christmas is on my shoulders?
Tree- check, presents- check, groceries- check, Christmas cards- well almost, four Christmas parties with their food- three down- one to go, balance the budget- cringe, run to the bank and post office, last minute stocking stuffers, plan menu, go get groceries again for missing ingredients, Christmas music, worry did I get the right presents for my husband.
He is so difficult to choose for…first he says, “Oh don’t get me anything.” Then, “Oh, I just want my truck fixed.” So we get his truck fixed. Expensive. Then, “Well you could get me this at Walmart.” Then, “No, don’t spend the money.” Then he checks for three days online to see if he can get a great deal himself for the item. Then, “Don’t get me anything. I got my truck.” Then, “Hey I love this shirt. Can you order this for me.” Then, “Hey, I just bought myself a Christmas present,” an expensive toy for kids that he just had to have. I know that he is going to be unhappy come Christmas cause I only got him clothes to keep him warm at work. Oh well. I’ll deal with the disappointing looks when they come.
So any ideas how I can survive the next few days. I feel an anxiety attack coming on. I need to slow down. Not even looking forward to Christmas this year and I am grieving because of it.
Your suggestions are welcome. Meghan