Finding Kisses From Heaven- Day 30


My blessing today is laughter. I’ve laughed at this list for years and actually used a few. I’ve gotten a couple weird looks when I’ve used them. Fun! Try saying no today.

I’d love to but…

  • I have to floss my cat.
  • I’ve dedicated my life to linguini.
  • I want to spend more time with my blender.
  • the President said he might drop in.
  • the man on television told me to stay tuned.
  • I’ve been scheduled for a karma transplant.
  • I’m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
  • it’s my parakeet’s bowling night.
  • it wouldn’t be fair to the other Beautiful People.
  • I’m building a pig from a kit.
  • I did my own thing and now I’ve got to undo it.
  • I’m enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
  • there’s a disturbance in the Force.
  • I’m doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
  • I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.
  • I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.
  • I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
  • I’m going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
  • I’m planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
  • my crayons all melted together.
  • I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
  • I’m in training to be a household pest.
  • I’m getting my overalls overhauled.
  • my patent is pending.
  • I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
  • I’m sandblasting my oven.
  • I’m worried about my vertical hold.
  • I’m going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
  • I’m being deported.
  • the grunion are running.
  • I’ll be looking for a parking space.
  • my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
  • the monsters haven’t turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
  • I’m taking punk totem pole carving.
  • I have to fluff my shower cap.
  • I’m converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
  • I’ve come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
  • I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
  • my plot to take over the world is thickening.
  • I have to fulfill my potential.
  • I don’t want to leave my comfort zone.
  • it’s too close to the turn of the century.
  • I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
  • my subconscious says no.
  • I’m giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
  • I left my body in my other clothes.
  • the last time I went, I never came back.
  • I’ve got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
  • I have to answer all of my “occupant” letters.
  • none of my socks match.
  • I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
  • I’m having all my plants neutered.
  • people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
  • I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.
  • I’m making a home movie called “The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator.”
  • I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
  • my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
  • I’m touring China with a wok band.
  • my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
  • I never go out on days that end in “Y.”
  • my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
  • I’m running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
  • I just picked up a book called “Glue in Many Lands” and I can’t put it down.
  • I’m too old/young for that stuff.
  • I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
  • I have too much guilt.
  • there are important world issues that need worrying about.
  • I have to draw “Cubby” for an art scholarship.
  • I’m uncomfortable when I’m alone or with others.
  • I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
  • I feel a song coming on.
  • I’m trying to be less popular.
  • my bathroom tiles need grouting.
  • I have to bleach my hare.
  • I’m waiting to see if I’m already a winner.
  • I’m writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
  • you know how we psychos are.
  • my favorite commercial is on TV.
  • I have to study for a blood test.
  • I’m going to be old someday.
  • I’ve been traded to Cincinnati.
  • I’m observing National Apathy Week.
  • I have to rotate my crops.
  • my uncle escaped again.
  • I’m up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
  • I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
  • I’m having my baby shoes bronzed.
  • I have to go to court for kitty littering.
  • I’m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
  • I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
  • having fun gives me prickly heat.
  • I’m going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
  • I have to jog my memory.
  • my palm reader advised against it.
  • my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
  • I have to stay home and see if I snore.
  • I prefer to remain an enigma.
  • I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
  • I have to sit up with a sick ant.
  • I’m trying to cut down.
  • … well, maybe.

via : Laugh IT Out: 101 Ways To Say No

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