I love you! So What do you want?

I grew up hearing a certain French statement: Je vous aime. Je vous adore. Que voulez vous encore. Not sure if I spelled everything correctly. I don’t know French, even though I spent a glorious summer in France. I didn’t even know what this statement really meant growing up, till I got married. Oh, I knew what the words meant: I love you. I adore you. What more do you want? But those words in English were about as foreign to me as the original French.

Growing up I was a co-dependent in training. I learned that keeping the peace was important, helping others be happy was imperative, and putting other’s needs above your own was just how things were done. I learned to love by doing; I listened, I helped, I hugged, I smiled, I worked hard, I paid attention to other’s needs. By being there for others, I myself became happy. I found my worth in my work, and my importance in how much I was needed.

All grown up now and on to my own family, I do the same. I cook, I clean, I do the bills and the wash and the trash and pick up the toys and clean the dishes and the floor. I put away the clothes and cook the meals. I am a frazzled Martha Stewart, who lives more like Erma Bombeck. I hug and love the boo-boos away. I am the greatest mother and wife. I am a perfect Proverbs 31 woman. I am supportive and encouraging and I bring God into my every moment. My friends tell me that they don’t know how I do it. I don’t know- The Glory of God! That is it! The only way!.

So when I get the sighs and the “You don’t do enough for me” or the “You don’t understand me” attitudes I want to scream “Que voulez vous encore!” What more can I do? How much more can I give? There isn’t enough time, or energy in one day. I am exhausted trying to please everyone. Why can I not stop?

I want to call out to God to make me be good enough in their eyes, but I stop. I know in my head that I am good enough. I don’t have to prove it to them. Why do I work so hard to try to please them? Yes, they matter to me. I love them and wish the best for them, but I need to make me first from time to time.

Je vous aime, Meghan. Je vous adore! Que voulez vous encoure?

Hmmm:

Time for myself

More help around the house

Validation for the hard work I do

To feel loved by God

To eat healthy food

To live in an atmosphere of love and support

To publish my books

To have friends that love me

To feel like I have a purpose and make a difference in the lives of others

Is that too much to ask?

Meghan