How to Disagree Agreeably

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Colossians 4:5 Tells us “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt”.

This is very difficult when a disagreement arises between two individuals. I have had many a fight where I didn’t want to be filled with grace, at the time anyway. Instead, I want to make the most of every opportunity to be heard, in order to win.

So are we not to disagree at all? Are we to lay down and be submissible doormats? No, definitely not. Our opinions matter. God made each of us different for a purpose. Where we are lacking, others are supposed to step in and help. And we must do the same for others. We are each to make a contribution, to make our lives run like a well oiled machine.

So the question begs then, how does one go about disagreeing, without being disagreeable? I’ve gathered a list of responses you can make when you don’t feel heard, or want to disagree with an other person. I know the time will come…so print this list out and study it. Remember a few that might be helpful to you in your relationships. Good Luck!

1.    I disagree with you, but I honor and respect your decision.

2.    I understand how you feel, but I don’t feel this way.

3.    You have the right to feel/see it the way you do.

4.    That is very interesting!

5.   I want to understand you. Please help me understand.

6.    What is most important to you right now? How can we compromise?

7.    I want us to talk about things that matter to you because you matter to me. Just remember that I don’t have to agree with all your ideas/opinions. I am a different person. I think/feel differently.

8.    Just because I disagree, doesn’t mean that I am against you as a person. I am for you very much. I love you.

9.    I see it totally different, and that is the way it is supposed to be. We complete each other.

10.  I agree that…but I need it to be…..

11.  I believe that…

12.  I hear what you are saying.

13.  You have some points that make sense.

14.  I have not thought about it that way.

15.  That is an interesting perspective.

16.  I can see why you see it that way.

17.  I understand why you say that.

18.  I hear where you are coming from.

19.  In my experience, I…

20.  My understanding is different. I …

21.  Have you considered…

22.  What about…

23.  The literature/evidence says…

24.  Because of …, I think…

25.  The data I collected shows

26.  We may not see eye to eye on this subject, but that’s O.K. I can agree to disagree with you.

27. Isn’t it great how we are both different.

Happy disagreeing,

Meghan

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