God loves me just the way I am! Even though I am stuck between jumping up for joy and wanting to drag my feet and complain. I feel like I am being pulled in both directions. How can I write a blessing post when I want to complain? How can I write a depressing note, when I have been blessed? I will do both, excuse the chaos:
Woke up with dogs barking and husband staring at me. He’d been up shoveling ice off our roof. (We have another leak in our ceiling. Blah!)
“Hello”, he said with a mild distain. “Hi,” I rubbed my eyes. I had been up till 11 pm with kids the night before doing a Bible Contest. Our kids came in first place. Yeah!
“Why are you frowning at me?” I asked blinking my eyes. It was so hard to wake up. The dogs jumped on top of me.
“Cause you are looking at me funny,” he responded.
“How can I be looking at you funny, when I just woke up?” I asked, confused as to how I could have done something wrong and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet.
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I got to go shovel.” I watched him stomp away. That’s how I woke up. Blah!
I cleaned my house, I made a healthy lunch that my kids actually liked. Did three loads of laundry. Yeah!
Now I have to put a pile of clothes away. Blah!
I made popcorn and sat in front of the fireplace, drinking tea. Yeah!
I found out that the week that I previously had taken off for vacation is not the same week that my Christian camp is running this year. They had to move it up one week. This is the one thing I love to do each year and now I can’t do it. I want to cry.
I just received a package of free books today from Jane Hunt, at Hope for the Heart Ministries. She is so awesome. The words in her letter lifted me up and made me want to cry with happiness. Free books and DVD’s on helping those who are in abusive relationships. Her act of caring has spoken volumes to me.
My husband bought two steaks about two weeks ago and couldn’t find them when he put the groceries away. He pointed to me saying “What did you do with them?” I am a vegetarian, so I surely didn’t eat them. I told them that I had no clue. Well, in cleaning today, I found them. Blah! I thought that something smelled rank in the house. Charlie had walked in the front door yesterday and complained that I had left the dirty diapers laying around in the house. I hadn’t, it was his steaks rotting. Blah!
Don’t know what the next step is in my life. I want to get my kids in a Christian school a half an hour from our house, but I’d have to change jobs. I have put out five resumes and have heard back from two that there is nothing right now…that doesn’t mean that there won’t be something this fall when I need the job to start. The other three I haven’t heard from yet. Do I start handing out more resumes now, even though I can’t start a new job till the middle of June, or do I wait? I have a great job that will end in June and then restart in August if I don’t find something else. I just want to be able to take my kids to this school and can’t with my current job. I am so stressed as to what to do. Blah!
Gotta go put away clothes. To end on a positive note, both my dogs are sitting in front of the fire staring at it. It is the cutest thing.
Thanks for listening.