“I assure you, if you are supposed to do something, God will make you able to do it. You do not have to feel able, and you do not have to have experience. All you need is a right motive and a heart full of faith. God is not looking for ability; He is looking for availability. He is looking for somebody to say, “Here I am, God, send me. Here I am, use me. I want to serve You, God. I want to do something for You!”
Joyce Meyers, Never Give Up
I am reading this book now. Food for my soul. I came across this quote and about cried. God is saying these words to me. I hope He is saying them to you too.
I haven’t had time to write or read much lately. My life has been in a tailspin.
I wrote you a long time back that I had stepped outside of my comfort zone and applied for a job that I didn’t think that I could get. Well, I didn’t get it. But, they called me and asked me to come in to interview for an administrative assistant position. I went in and interviewed. It went well and they asked me to join them. I asked them what the position was for and they said it was most definitely not an administrative assistant position. Instead, I would be working in leadership, a full time job, with benefits. I am excited to be wanted.
Now the crazy news. They can’t tell me what exactly my job description is, or the salary, or much else, except that they want me. The HR director is out of the country for awhile, and only he can tell me the specifics and then hire me. Now I wait, to see if it is really something I can do and would be good for my family.
Meanwhile, I wait, feeling like I can’t do this job. I don’t even know what it is and already I feel like a failure. I am questioning my abilities and am scared to make a change. What if they don’t like me? What if I mess up? What if I fail and lose my job? What if I don’t like my job and then I am stuck? So many things to worry about.
One reason I didn’t even want to write about it is: what if the pay is low, or it is something I don’t want to take and then I’ve told everyone about the position and then nothing changes? Yet, here I am writing.
God knows me, and who I am going to become. That is going to have to be enough for me. Now I just have to wait. Why is it so hard?