I am in a prison of my own choosing. It is called the full life! I have forgotten my dreams and wishes. They are a fleeting sigh. Instead my world is consumed with homework, work, housework, errands and the many other things in life that zap your energy.
If asked, I am happy. I can not complain. I have a roof over my head, heat, food, a healthy family and more. There are so many that would love to have what I have. I should be content. Notice I am happy, but not content.
Life is getting up in the morning. Rushing. Then going to bed. There is not much joy. My life is about serving others. I have no time to take care of me. I know that it is important to do, but there is no time. If there is time, the house needs serious cleaning. I am a sure example of a slob. My professional, organized, able to do it all self has given up. I am being swallowed by responsibilities and I am giving in. It is what it is, is my new saying. My only hope is that things will change in the future.
I wish I could…well I was going to write something, but my mind went blank. I guess I don’t know what I want. I am not me anymore. I am, well I am not sure. I am not a slave, nor a machine. I smile, I am successful at work. I get the responsibilities done, well all except the house. But I am an empty shell. So tired. Time has captured me and I hope that I can make it through till it is my time, MY TIME to live.