Traumatic Events- Letting Go

Writing about the traumatic times in my life a few days ago brought up stressful memories. I thought that I could go on and write a few more, but I feel that it is too unhealthy for me to dwell on the negative things that happened in my past. Yet, if I don’t give voice to those things that gave me fear, they still hold some small power over me. I don’t want to ignore moments in time which made me who I am today. Instead of writing about the things in detail which gave me fear, I will list them. That way I feel like I have spoken and then moved on.

When I was little I fell off the pier at Bar Harbor, Maine. I was between the dock and a large boat that was crashing into the dock with each new wave. I couldn’t swim. My mother jumped in, clothes and all to save me. My father stood there doing nothing. When I asked about this, he laughed and said that he was waiting for the bubbles to appear so that he knew where to jump and find me.

My father had an episode of road rage while on a long trip to my Grandma’s house. I was so scared. I thought we were going to die. He was driving so fast and yelling, swerving all over the road.

When a teenager, I ran into my father with my car. Parents separated, he had come by to yell at my mom. I yelled at him and he grabbed me and chased me around the house. He ripped my shirt. I jumped into my car and backed up quickly to get away from him. He got in back of me and I hit him. That night I went out with friends and my dad came and stole my car. (He had had a key made of it one time a long time back when he took it to get fixed and I never knew he had it.) I had to apologize to him to get my car back.

My dad threatened to shoot my mom, and burn her house down.

Mom don’t read this one…One time I went camping in the north woods with two girl friends. We parked our car at the end of a dirt road and asked a man who’s house was right there, if we could park there. He said yes and that there was a nice lake down the trail a mile or so. We walked a half a mile in and then veered off the trail. When it was dark we heard people walking and three-wheelers riding out on the trail. We were nervous and couldn’t sleep that night. As soon as it was light, we got out of there. On the way home we turned on the news and heard the report that two girls had been murdered, while hiking the day before. They had been in our vicinity.

My husband hit a cat once and then instead of jumping out of the car to see if it was ok, he backed up to run it over again, and then forward again, to make sure it was dead and wasn’t in pain. This was a humane thing to do in his thinking. I still cringe thinking about it.

I was stuck in a snowstorm on a closed mountain pass. It was cold and there wasn’t a lot of gas in my car. Luckily the cops knocked on my window and told me that I could go sleep on the floor of a church nearby. The next day the roads were still impassible, so my husband decided that the smaller, windy-er mountain pass road an hour south of us would be the better route. Chains on, we ventured out and made it over. They shut down the road we were on right after we passed. I was a wreck the whole way.

I drove in a hurricane once. Don’t ever want to do that again.

Spent three days in the children’s hospital- two separate times for terrible emergencies with my son. One was on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Nothing worse than worrying about your kids.

My brother threatened to hurt my son. So now I am no longer able to go to my childhood home, because he lives there. My son still has fear surrounding that situation.

And of course I’ve endured a lot of trauma due to my season of marital abuse. Still working through those feelings.

That is all I can thing of right now. Thanks for looking in my window today and listening.

Meghan

The Man on the Motorcycle

Another traumatic story from my past- I was young, too young to know that people can die if they drive too fast. My family had spent the day at a family member’s camp on a lake. It was late and we were pleasantly tired from the days festivities.

A young guy on a motorcycle sped around us, and took off down the winding country road. My mother said, “That guy is going to kill himself.” Little did I know that her words would have predictive power. Around a couple of bends we came upon his smashed bike and lifeless body.

My mom and dad yelled at me to stay in the car. Since we were the first on the scene, they both jumped out of the car to go help.  My heart beat so fast. I couldn’t help but wonder, is he dead? I sat up on the rolled down roof of my mother’s convertible Firebird. I could see that he had lost body parts. My mother later would be searching the darkened forest for them.

I felt dizzy. I wished that I had never stood up to look. I sat back down in the car and wondered if my mother’s words had caused the accident. I was young remember? This is the way my brain worked. Suddenly I was afraid that my mother’s words had the power to do incredible things. I never wanted to be on the receiving end of such a prediction.

I’ve grown up now and know that my mom doesn’t have magical powers. If she did, she would have used them to bring that man back to life. I know that life is precious and should never be taken for granted. I live near the scene of that accident and ride down that road many times. I tell my children the story. I want them to always drive safely and never be a hotshot.

I’ve used the bad for good. I still get PTSD when it comes to motorcycles that wiz by me. One of my best friends died on their Harley a couple of years ago, and they were one of the best drivers I knew. I know the fun of bikes, and I know the danger. I just hope that those that decide to ride, ride smartly. And don’t ride fast, it freaks me out.

Meghan

Walking on a Wire

Much of my life I feel is a dangerous balancing act. If I make one wrong move, I’ll die. To make matters worse, I feel that my audience all around me doesn’t understand the pressures that I am under. They are constantly trying to distract my every step. They keep talking, and asking me questions, and asking for me to help them do this or that. Don’t they know that I am just trying to survive?

When I was a child my parents took me to go see the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus. We sat in the second mezzanine balcony seats overlooking a wide area. We thought this was going to be the perfect place to view the fun. Unfortunately, it was the perfect place, only not to see anything good.

Everything went well until the twin tightrope walkers started doing their act. It was nerve wracking watching them walk so far above the floor. One end of their rope attached right on the other side of the railing directly in front of my seat. When one of the men walked right up in front of me, I could almost reach out and touch him. This thought stuck in my head and is one of the reasons this experience touched my life as it did. He turned around and started to walk away. And then it happened, he fell. There had been a net in the middle of the rope area, where they did most of their tricks, but there was no net under the edges.

I watched as the man fell two stories down and crashed onto the floor. I didn’t know what happened to the man, until the next morning’s newspaper came and told me that the man had died.

I too wonder if there is a net below me. If I stay in the middle, I should be ok. From time to time though, life takes me to the edges. I balance as best as I can. I don’t know how long I can keep up my strength to not fall. By seeing a man die as a child, I know how fragile life is. It is a balancing act!

Tomorrow I will tell you about another man I saw die, this one a motorcycle crash.

Emergency Landing in Cuba

My memory is patchy. I was seven. My family had decided to take a relaxing trip to Jamaica. We would take a commercial jet liner, it was much to far for my father to fly in our little family plane. My father had seated us in seats over the wing, which he believed was the safest seats on the plane.

Out over the Atlantic Ocean we heard a noise. My father craned his neck to look out over the wing. Even before he saw the smoke he said, “That can’t be good.” I knew that we were in trouble. I put my hand into my mother’s and waited with wide eyes.

One of the engines had caught on fire. The captain came over the intercom and told us that we were going to be making an emergency stop. Where would we stop? I wondered. We were in the middle of the ocean.

My questions were quickly answered. Cuba had granted us permission to land. This seemed to worry all the grown ups around me. I was too young to understand the political ramifications of this. You see, this was in the late seventies. Cuba and the US might have well have been enemy nations. I remember talk of Cuban missiles and hiding under my school desk. I saw the fear in others eyes. I held tighter to my mother’s hand.

We landed and quickly disembarked the plane. I believe some even went down the emergency slide. I wish that I could say that I had, and remembered it. That would have been fun.

We were escorted to a low building and we sat, being watched with men with machine guns. The giant German Shepherd dogs that paced back and forth scared me even more.

A couple hours later, after wondering if we’d ever be freed again, they announced that our plane was fixed. We would be taking the same plane. I couldn’t make up my mind which thought was more scary, staying in this place, or flying on the plane which had been on fire?

Needless to say, we filed to our plane without a word. We took off and many people sighed a relief.

We made it to Jamaica and had a glorious vacation. I got to ride a donkey. The return trip was uneventful, yet we were tense the whole way.

As I think back, I think I remember smoke, and fire. I think there were people screaming and crying. I don’t know, maybe I blocked that part out. Maybe I am making it up as the fear built up inside me. Either way, I still feel the trauma from the experience.

I still fly in planes, if you are wondering. I just get nervous sometimes. I have reason to be.

More trauma- Tomorrow I will tell you about the time I watched someone fall to their death.

Meghan

Traumatic Events Revisited

The other night I sat down beside my husband who was watching a program entitled, “Why Planes Crash”. I don’t know why I decided to continue watching the program with him, but now I am sorry that I did. Why would they have a documentary about terrible loss of life? Why would they strike fear in the heart of people who have to fly. I’ve never been afraid of flying before, maybe I should be.

After the program was over I felt sorry for all those people, for all those families who are missing their loved ones. I rushed around to get my children to bed, clean up the dishes and get ready for the next day. Finally I had a few moments of peace. This is when I got hit with a wave of panic. My heart started racing and I wanted to breathe deeply, but felt I couldn’t. Why was I feeling this way? I know that I have been overwhelmed with life and the long, cold winter is really taking it out of me, but why this? Nothing bad had happened.

I laid down in bed, trying to go to sleep. My mind raced. I wasn’t thinking about the TV program, but I kept seeing a small plane fall from the sky and crash into the ocean. You see, when I was little my family went to an island off the coast of New England to bask in the sun and play in the sand. As the day wore on the fog rolled in. We had come to the island in our small family airplane. Now that it was foggy, we were getting nervous. So we started packing up.

Then we heard the low drone of a small plane flying over our heads. I can remember my dad saying, “Something is wrong. It is too low.” Then it climbed straight into the sky and did a loop and fell head long into the ocean. Crash! right before my young eyes. I was terrified. Now I couldn’t get that picture out of my head.

I slept, but had horrible nightmares. I woke up crying three times.

I am better today, but tired. Amazing the hold the past has on our lives. Tomorrow I will write about the time that our commercial jet liner’s engine was on fire and we had to make an emergency landing in Cuba.

Meghan

Please Love Me!

Please love me the way I am.

I am lonely and broken, helpless and afraid.

I am a pleaser only to find love.

I smile and comply because I want to be accepted.

I don’t speak my mind, for I am afraid.

I don’t want to be myself. No one will like me.

I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been rejected.

I cry out, “Please someone want me!”

Notice my pain.

Help me to see that I am not alone.

Let me see my worth.

It’s not based on what I do, or who I am.

I am accepted, loved and belong in one place.

Help Your love to be enough.

Meghan

Breathing With God

They say that the easiest way to relaxation is to stop trying to make things different. Struggle comes from not accepting what is.

So, I need to sit back and relax right? Well, what happens when you are a fish out of water? Do you sit back and relax, just knowing that this will get you back in the water. No! This is where you need to ask, trust and wait for your help to come. And that Help most definitely will come; yet sometimes only a little bit, by little bit.

When I was in college I followed a guy who I had a crush on into a class on SCUBA diving. I thought how cool it would be to flaunt my good looks in a bathing suit for a whole hour and hopefully lure this guy into liking me. Everything was fine until we got into the deep end. As per regulations of the class you had to partner up, with one tank between two people, then go for a casual swim in the deep end. To my horror and delight this young man chose me and off we went.

For a few minutes I was fine thinking about how I was practically kissing him (since we were swappin’ spit). Then we reached the deep end and we descended into the pool. Immediately I started freaking out, wanting desperately to grab the oxygen regulator out of his mouth and just breathe all the air myself. My heart fought my brain. I didn’t care if this was a person who I was trying to impress, I wanted to breathe. “I want all the air to myself!” I wanted to scream.

I guess I was getting a bit pushy grabbing the air too much, so he came to the surface to remind me, not so kindly, that we had to share for us both to breathe. I was ashamed. We finished our lap (me still being terrified) and he quickly picked another for the next activity. Needless to say he never asked me out.

I often times feel that I cannot breathe. If I could just hog all the oxygen, maybe I would be ok. If I could control everything at my fingertips, then I wouldn’t drown.

I try to remember that God gives me everything, including the air I breathe and He is more than capable of making sure I have enough to survive. It is just so easy to panic. I find myself wondering if He will pass the regulator to me in time. Will I have enough? I am so tired of swimming and being worried. I realize that I don’t want to share with Him anymore.

Yet does God need the air? I don’t think so. He is just passing it on to me, to bless me. Why then can’t I have it all the time and swim on my own? Well, I’ve thought about that one for awhile and this is what I’ve come up with: God wants us to need Him, so that we know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves us and wants to provide for us.

He doesn’t take a second too long. You need air? Breathe. Then He holds our life (the air) in His hands and waits, longing to keep us breathing.

What about that flopping fish, does He immediately throw them back in? Yes many times, but often times like in the case of transporting whales, and dolphins they need to wait, be constantly attended to and wet down till they get back in the water where they belong.

So I guess if I am a “fish” out of water than I am a dolphin. This is not my home. I am being transported to a new and glorious place, which will be my permanent home. Till then I have to rely on the care of my God to wet me down, keep me safe and make sure I keep breathing.

Prayer is just like air.
It keeps us alive
While we strive.

Keep praying, keep breathing and know that God has your life, your purpose, your struggles, your fears and your happiness in His hands. Never forget, He loves taking care of you.

50 Ways to Fear Not

1.For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
2.Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32 NIV
3.The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Psalm 34:7 NIV
4.So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matt 10:31 NIV
5.Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him. Deuteronomy 13:4 NLT
6.I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 NLT
7.This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 NLT
8.But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 1 Peter 3:14 NLT
9.One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him, “Don’t be afraid! Speak out! Don’t be silent! Acts 18:9 NLT
10.Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18 NLT
11.When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 NIV
12.In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:4 NIV
13.He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Psalm 91:4-8 NLT
14.They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. Psalm 112:7 NLT
15.Do not tremble; do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim my purposes for you long ago? You are my witnesses—is there any other God? No! There is no other Rock—not one! Isaiah 44:8 NLT
16.I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear? Isaiah 51:12 NLT
17.Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord. Jeremiah 1:8 Amplified
18.But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”Mark 5:36 NLT
19.They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!” John 6:19-20 NLT
20.“Don’t be afraid,” Moses answered them, “for God has come in this way to test you, and so that your fear of him will keep you from sinning!” Exodus 20:20 NLT
21.You must always act in the fear of the Lord, with faithfulness and an undivided heart. 2 Chronicles 19:9 NLT
22.The Lord is a friend to those who fear him. He teaches them his covenant. Psalm 25:14 NLT
23.But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. Psalm 33:18 NLT
24.I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 NLT
25.Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Psalm 34:9 NLT
26.The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 NLT
27.Fear of the Lord leads to life, bringing security and protection from harm. Proverbs 19:23 NLT
28.True humility and fear of the Lord lead to riches, honor, and long life. Proverbs 22:4 NLT
29.Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. Proverbs 29:25 NLT
30.Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30 NLT
31.He will be your sure foundation, providing a rich store of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the Lord will be your treasure. Isaiah 33:6 NLT
32.Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” Isaiah 35:4 NLT
33.Listen to me, you who know right from wrong you who cherish my law in your hearts. Do not be afraid of people’s scorn, nor fear their insults. Isaiah 51:7 NLT
34.Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. Isaiah 54:4 NLT
35.For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
36.Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matt 10:28 NLT
37.We have been rescued from our enemies so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live. Luke 1:74-75 NLT
38.And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:38 NLT
39.We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside. But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. His presence was a joy. 2 Corinthians 7:5-6 NLT
40.Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. Hebrews 12:28 NLT
41.Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18 NLT
42.“Fear God,” he shouted. “Give glory to him. For the time has come when he will sit as judge. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and all the springs of water.” Revelation 14:7 NLT
43.And from the throne came a voice that said, “Praise our God, all his servants, all who fear him, from the least to the greatest.” Revelation 19:5 NLT
44.Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me Psalm 23:4 NIV
45.Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God. Deuteronomy 1:17 NIV
46.Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you. Deuteronomy 3:22 NIV
47.The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1 NIV
48.He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40 NIV
49.Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Mark 5:36 NIV
50.Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. Revelation 1:17 NIV

10 Commandments Of A Worrier

10 Commandments Of A Worrier:

1. I will not despair, because the Lord has promised never to leave me, nor forsake me (Hebrews 13: 5). I will make Him number one in my life and then know that He will protect me.

2. I will not allow things, people or circumstances to become mini-gods over me, controlling my thoughts, feelings and actions. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6: 33. In this way I will be blessed.

3. I will speak the name of the Lord over every fear in my life. By honoring Him, God will cover me with the joy that makes fears disappear. “In the fear of the Lord, one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.” Proverbs 14: 26 I accept that courage today.

4. The Sabbath is God’s gift to me. My gift to Him comes when I set a day aside to worship Him and rest from all my struggles. ““If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 58: 13-14 I welcome that rest.

5. Despite any failures of my mother and father, I am who I am. I will decide to live at peace with them both, even though I may disagree with their choices from time to time. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Ephesians 6: 2-3 I need any peace I can get; this peace comes with a cracker jack surprise: long life. I’ll take it.

6. I will shield myself from worry, anger and discouragement, for these unhealthy behaviors seek to destroy me. The Lord commands us that we should not kill. This includes our own bodies. I will actively push away these stresses, not allowing them to hurt me. “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8: 6 I choose life.

7. I will smile at my husband/wife when they drive me crazy. I will try not to forget that God placed them into my life for a purpose. Therefore, I will trust God’s plan, and stay true to the one that God gave me. “He who finds a wife (husband) finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 May I find that favor today.

8. God wants me to be full of Heavenly joy. I will not steal it from others, or from myself by trying to force it to happen in my fashion, way or time. Every day I will trust the Lord to give me what I need. I do not have to fear the future. “Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death.” Proverbs 10: 2 I know that God will take care of me.

9. I will be truthful with myself about my feelings. I need not hold them in, for they will consume me. Instead, I will voice them, gently deal with them and then turn them over to the God who knows my feelings better than I know myself. “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 I will be truthful in all things. This will build me up.

10. I will be happy in the life I have. By comparing my life, possessions and talents to others I will never find contentment. Instead, I will measure myself by God’s ruler. For with Him, I am precious just the way I am.

** “(You are) more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with (you).” Proverbs 3: 15

** “They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him.” Malachi 3: 17

** “But now, God’s Message,
the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.” Isaiah 43: 1-4 The Message (MSG)

When you are tempted to worry remember that Jesus gave his life for YOU. If He was willing to do that, He is definitely going to take care of you NOW. Blessings Meghan

Giving It Over To God- Step Three

Last night I attended my abuse support group, as I do each Wednesday. The topic, “Being Afraid to Give It All Over To God.” Many women were somber, sharing their deepest fears. My fear is the greatest of them all, fear of rejection. I just want to be loved. My Dad left when I was young, so I guess I’ve been ever since chasing that missing love. We listed ways to let go of our fears. I thought it so powerful that I’d share our ideas with you. These are made up from real, scared, hurting people, not some high and mighty psychologist…

Letting Go Of Fear

1. Let yourself cry. This releases tension that you hold inside, thus making you stronger. What is salt good for? Healing, making things better and preserving. Let the salt water flow from your eyes. Plus, the Bible says that each of our tears are accounted for and kept in a bottle by a loving God. (Psalms 56:8)

2. Speak up! Fear tries to shut us up and then we shut down and give up. Take Christopher Robin’s (Winnie the Pooh) statement to heart. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” God says that He didn’t give us a spirit of fear, (2 Timothy 1:7) but of love, and power and a sound mind.

3. Expect the Lord to do something, and soon. Tell him so! Put your arms up in the air and say, “What’cha going to do about it?” Don’t worry about it, cause this ain’t your problem. Watch and see what the Lord does. Anytime you are worried, say, “Not mine Lord. Can’t do it. You deal with it.” Look up the meaning of the word Qavah. It is my newest favorite word. Hebrew for, Lord I am waiting for you to do something, cause I know you are going to act on my part soon.

4. Don’t play the Yeahbut Game. You know the one…I could do that, Yeahbut what if this happened, or that? Fear of the unknown can be great if you focus on it. Instead, focus on the now and try to look at things differently. Put encouraging statements all over your house and read them constantly. Philippians 4: 8 says that we should think upon the pure, true and honest stuff. Don’t spend time worrying about the could be-s.

5. Dismiss them. A wonderful kids book I just read to my little ones, Go away Big Green Monster, by Ed Emberley, shows that we can dismiss our fears just by telling them to go away…”and don’t come back until I say so.” James 4:7 tells us to, “resist the devil and he will flee from us.” Go ahead and boss them around.

6. Search the Bible for the word fear. Change each word fear to the word anxiety and place your name in each text. Example: The LORD is with you Meghan; So let go of your anxieties. What can man do to you? (Psalms 118: 6) Affirm yourself each day that God is on your side.

7. Make a list of what you are going to do each hour of the day. What room will you be in, what would you like to accomplish. Having structure helps us live through the fear because we have purpose.

8. Silence can be deafening. If you are thinking fearfully because you are alone and have too much quietness around you, then distract yourself with Christian music, or television. Take your mind off your worries for a bit and get rest.

9. Practice the skills of Mindfulness- really stare at something. Is it smooth, or bumpy? How does it feel, taste, smell? Live in the moment. We aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, and yesterday is in the past. Today is the only gift we have. Pay attention to it and be grateful.

10. Breathe deeply. Breath backwards, starting with breathing out, then in. Count your breaths. Do progressive relaxation. Tighten your muscles and then loosen them. Relax. This too will pass. You can get through it.

Couple other ideas: read, exercise, go for a walk, talk to a friend, blog, write, use a stressball, play with pipe cleaners, do your nails, color, draw, play with worry beads or Rosary beads, take a bubble bath and of course Pray Without Ceasing.

I have added March’s activities, steps and devotional to the sidebar of my page. Just in case you don’t get there I put the paragraph about this month’s step 3. (We have a new step each month, so third month-step 3.) Enjoy!

Step Three

Many women involved in emotionally abusive relationships feel uncomfortable doing step three. Our whole lives have taught us that we can trust no one. Step three asks us to choose to place our trust in God. No one is forcing us. He simply asks for us to choose to follow Him whole heartedly. This means not only the big problems will be turned over for his care, but even the small frustrations that we face, (a broken appliance, lost keys a long line in traffic when you are late for an appointment) are to be give over to Him to deal with. In the face of these irritations we will constantly tell ourselves to “turn it over, turn it over.” The saying “let go and let God” will be your sole purpose in life.
Ironically figuring out our needs in life and asking God to take over in how those needs are met is one of the most unselfish things we can do. We realize that there is nothing more important than God’s will for our lives. We are willing to allow our Creator to direct His creation. The more we let go and trust in God the freer we will become in our relationships. We will smile more, because we have the assurance that the problem is not ours to worry about. We just keep rolling the problems over to God.
What then does He require from us in return? Only to get up one more time than we fall. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be the best we can be. By trusting in God and holding His hand, He assuredly shows us the true way to happiness, where we can shine for Him.