12 Traits of a Healthy Family

family

Our family has come up with this list and have it our refrigerator. We’ve all signed it and have promised to live by its ideas. We share it with you, in hopes that it will encourage others to follow it as well. Good luck!

Each person will:

1.  Realize that you will make mistakes. Own up to them. Then be gracious to yourself, learn from them and then move on.

2.  Be considerate of each other’s feelings. Show love and concern. Listen! Listen! Listen!

3.  Have one another’s interests in mind when making a decision. Ask others for their opinions. Care about how they may feel.

4.  Show empathy. Make a difference by helping, and show your love by being there.

5.  Allow for differences of opinion. They are not bad, just because they are different.

6.  Forgive one another. Always be the first to ask for forgiveness.

7.  Work together as a team.

8.  Use the Bible to correct your shortcomings.

9.   Ask for help when you need it. We all need to be strong for each other.

10.  Be willing to talk about things when there are problems.

11.  Listen to advice from wise people.

12.  Be thankful for all God has given you. Do not complain, or bicker. Look for God’s blessings in everything. They are there.

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Please Love Me!

cat

Please love me the way I am.

I am lonely and broken, helpless and afraid.

I am a pleaser only to find love.

I smile and comply because I want to be accepted.

I don’t speak my mind, for I am afraid.

I don’t want to be myself. No one will like me.

I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been rejected.

I cry out, “Please someone want me!”

Notice my pain.

Help me to see that I am not alone.

Let me see my worth.

It’s not based on what I do, or who I am.

I am accepted, loved and belong in one place.

Help Your love to be enough.

Meghan

Finding Kisses From Heaven- February 13

find hope

“Hope is an excited expectation, awaiting the fulfillment of promises that are assured, unchangeable and absolute. It is not dependent on the stars, luck, chance, or timing. Instead, it is a predestined assurance that we are cherished by God and abide in the heart of the One who made us, takes care of us and longs to be our Best Friend.”

Meghan

It is my prayer today that you look up; Despite the darkness around you, look up. The stars are coming out. Hope is always there – for hope is in God; And God never leaves us, or disappoints us. May you find your hope today and hold on for dear life. It will transport you to all the abundant things that God has planned for you.

Just curious. What is your definition of hope? What brings you hope when you feel down? I would love to hear from you.

Meghan

Our Ultimate Need Filler

hugtight

God has made us to be individuals who have inner needs. Our shortcomings, desires, worries, insecurities, are all present for a purpose. They are unique because they were made by Him, and can only be met by Him. God wants our needs to draw us closer to a deeper relationship, and may I say, a dependence upon Him. He wants to be our Need-Filler, for everything. If God intended for us to be filled somewhere else, by someone else, then we wouldn’t need Him. The Lord uses circumstances in our lives and positive people to show us that He cares about us. Ultimately, only God can satisfy all of the needs of our heart.

The Bible says…”The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.” Isaiah 58:11

We have been created with three God-given needs. These essential inner needs are:

To Be Loved- to know that someone loves you unconditionally.

To Matter-  to know that our lives have meaning and purpose.

To Be Secure-  to feel accepted, safe and that you belong.

God has already provided a way for us and has taken care of our ultimate needs. He says:

You Are Loved- “I have loved you with an everlasting love: I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

You Matter- “For I know the plans I have for you, ‘declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

You Are Safe- “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, He will never leave you, nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

God makes His plans clear to us:

“My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.”

He is our Ultimate Need Filler. He wants to put all your broken pieces back together. Hug Him today. He is waiting for you.

Meghan

Letter to a Friend on WordPress

hugging women

As I looked through my Reader this morning I read a post from a friend who was going through a dark time in her life. I immediately wanted to tell her that she wasn’t alone. I enjoy reading her posts. You never know what kind of influence you have on others in this world. Most people go through life thinking that no one hears them. Well I spoke up today and told her that she mattered.

Today I want to share this letter that I sent her, with you too. My hopes are that if you are feeling lost and alone that it may touch your heart too. Know that you matter. Thank you for being my friend and helping me through my tough times. You are the greatest listeners ever.

My heart goes out to you my dear. I have felt very alone for many years, even though I am married and have two kids. The problem is that no one notices that I exist. Oh they want me to cook and clean and take care of them. But no one cares about my feelings and takes care of me. I tell you this, not to make you sad about someone else, although this helps sometimes to feel bad for others takes away the sadness for ourselves. But to let you know that I understand feeling alone and invisible. The things that have helped me the most is to talk to God and ask him to help me through (this way I am not alone), to help others (this way I am feeling needed and worth something), to write on my blog (to let my feelings out) and to do nice things for myself (this one is the hardest one for me to do).

As desperate the situation is, you are not alone. Take a breath and think back over all the things that you survived in the past. You really are strong. Just right now you need to take care of yourself. Your little girl inside of you is crying out to be heard. If no one is listening, you listen. Talk to her and ask her what one thing you can do to help her right now.

You are important and have been placed on this earth for a reason. You may never know what that reason is, but you are to stand tall and know that you are doing what you are supposed to do. So don’t  waiver. Go forward. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. If you can’t crawl, than pull yourself forward one inch at a time. Important thing is that you are never giving up.

If you are tired rest. If your world is spinning and you feel that everything is closing in on you, just stop and look at one thing, see one thing that is good in your life and feel proud of that one thing. Even if it is that one bathroom facet that you keep clean. Feel proud and think often on  that one accomplishment.

Life is not what you do, it is not how you succeed or improve. You feel handicapped by life? Good, now live that handicap to the fullest. You are depressed and have anxiety? Good, now know that your depression is going to bring you closer to God and the person that you are meant to be. Your anxiety is going to make you lean on Him.

What is your first step? Take a deep breath, listen to some small noise around you and take the time to notice all the things you are grateful for.  Thank God and then ask Him to use you today, to brighten someone’s day. Each day He will give you hope, by giving you a divine appointment. Enjoy each surprise He brings you.

You have lots of people who will listen to you. Maybe not in the flesh, but what is a blog if you can’t share your feelings. Share and feel others start to support you. Then help others that are dealing with the same feelings as you and you will find that you are stronger than you think.

I am here! You are heard! Thank you for being my divine appointment today. God needed to say something to you today. Know that He loves you.
Meghan

How to Disagree Agreeably

angry

Colossians 4:5 Tells us “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt”.

This is very difficult when a disagreement arises between two individuals. I have had many a fight where I didn’t want to be filled with grace, at the time anyway. Instead, I want to make the most of every opportunity to be heard, in order to win.

So are we not to disagree at all? Are we to lay down and be submissible doormats? No, definitely not. Our opinions matter. God made each of us different for a purpose. Where we are lacking, others are supposed to step in and help. And we must do the same for others. We are each to make a contribution, to make our lives run like a well oiled machine.

So the question begs then, how does one go about disagreeing, without being disagreeable? I’ve gathered a list of responses you can make when you don’t feel heard, or want to disagree with an other person. I know the time will come…so print this list out and study it. Remember a few that might be helpful to you in your relationships. Good Luck!

1.    I disagree with you, but I honor and respect your decision.

2.    I understand how you feel, but I don’t feel this way.

3.    You have the right to feel/see it the way you do.

4.    That is very interesting!

5.   I want to understand you. Please help me understand.

6.    What is most important to you right now? How can we compromise?

7.    I want us to talk about things that matter to you because you matter to me. Just remember that I don’t have to agree with all your ideas/opinions. I am a different person. I think/feel differently.

8.    Just because I disagree, doesn’t mean that I am against you as a person. I am for you very much. I love you.

9.    I see it totally different, and that is the way it is supposed to be. We complete each other.

10.  I agree that…but I need it to be…..

11.  I believe that…

12.  I hear what you are saying.

13.  You have some points that make sense.

14.  I have not thought about it that way.

15.  That is an interesting perspective.

16.  I can see why you see it that way.

17.  I understand why you say that.

18.  I hear where you are coming from.

19.  In my experience, I…

20.  My understanding is different. I …

21.  Have you considered…

22.  What about…

23.  The literature/evidence says…

24.  Because of …, I think…

25.  The data I collected shows

26.  We may not see eye to eye on this subject, but that’s O.K. I can agree to disagree with you.

27. Isn’t it great how we are both different.

Happy disagreeing,

Meghan

Finding Kisses From Heaven – Day 31

learn

A friend of mine said this saying at church today and I loved it. She said that we NEVER lose. We either win or we are learning. I love this because this means I am never a failure. No matter what I do wrong, I am not a failure, but a learner. I am learning each and every day, in every way.

So next time you make a mistake, instead of saying, “sorry” say, “I’m learning.” I myself, say sorry way too much. Someone drops their papers on the ground, I say, “sorry”. I know that it is not my fault. I am not admitting that it is. Instead, I am expressing my sadness for them. Tell me what you think, is this more of a woman thing, than a man thing. I don’t know many men that would say sorry. My husband has gone out of his way to tell me that he doesn’t need to say sorry, because it isn’t his fault. “I know,” I reply. “But you have to show empathy.” I respond.

How does one show empathy without saying sorry? When someone has something terrible happen to them, what do you say? I would love to have a list of ways to say “sorry” without actually using that word. I really want to know, so if you read this write back and tell me your ideas. Maybe I will repost your responses (if I get enough) and entitle it WAYS TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY.

Till then don’t focus on your mistakes. They are a blessing to you. You are given the gift of learning.

Go make some mistakes today, and have fun!

Meghan